Mar 152020

How to Survive a Pandemic.

First off. Breathe.

Breathe deep. Inhale happy, exhale pain. Inhale hope, exhale fear. Relax your asshole. Feel the deepness seep in through your body, through your little liver, through your little and big intestines, through your beautiful heart.

Feel the floor underneath you. Feel the bed underneath you. The chair. Things are still holding up.

Listen to Chet Baker.

Look out the window, at the moon. It’s still there.

Remember what fear is. Fear is an instinct set in you to keep alive. Don’t lose yourself in the fear. Steady it. If you have someone in your life whose hand you can hold, hold it. If you do not, think of everyone you love, and send them love. Tell the world and the wind: we will all be ok. We will all be ok. We will get through this. The world will get through this.

I don’t care if you have to lie to yourself to do this.

Put a plan in place that is going to make you feel safe.

– Make sure you have enough food, water, whatever to make you feel ok.
– Buy a water filter if you can.
– Take stock of what you have and plan.
– Look at your finances. Keep things safe and stable best you can.
– Keep your home organized and beautiful.
– Make your bed.
– If you have incense, burn it.
– Take a breath. It’s still important.

Make a plan for how you are going to get through this.

What will your daily routine be?

Wake up
Make coffee
Do french via Duelingo
Do 15 minutes of yoga
Eat breakfast
Go to the internet and respond to emails/organize computer
Do some arm exercises
Call someone and talk
Go outside if you can, for a walk, or just go on the fire-escape
Write a letter
Do promo/one-sheet
Do voice exercises
Sit at piano and wonder
Connect with someone
Write a journal of love/letter to someone you love
Cheer someone up
Dance party in your underwear
Create something and get lost in it
Masturbate wildly
Take a deep breath
Look at your dream journal. Visualize
Take all your vitamins
Love yourself deeply

Times of change are times of growth. You can sit here in fear, or you can make something of it. What will you do with these times? Here is a plan, an emergency list

– When you are watching Netflix to escape your thoughts, but you know bad seeds are deep inside you, press the pause button.
– Take a deep breath
– Take a walk around the apartment and then write down your fears
– Send a message of love to someone you know
– Repeat a mantra – any mantra, and find a way to get inside the joy again.

The internet
– Immediately block everyone that is fear mongering and not either linking to facts or honest reactions to where they are in their day.
– Watch government sites closely
– If you have any friends in the media, keep them close
– If you have any doctor/nurse friends, send them love and ask them to keep you aware of any developments
– Limit your time on it, and set yourself daily tasks that you can get lost in.
– Put on music and say no to the bad thoughts.

You will get through this. We will all get through this. This is a massive chance to all take pause, estimate what’s important and focus on it. We will either do that, or fall prey to fear. Don’t let fear win. Common sense, trust in your own heart and needs, and connecting with those that will make you smile. Do that.

And if you can, get a dog.

Mar 032020

April 2 – Oxford
April 3 – Sheffield
April 4 – Southampton
April 7 – Leeds
April 8 – Preston
April 10 – Glasgow
April 11 – Glasgow
April 13 –

photo by Kristopher Johnson

…to celebrate the UK Release of Chap’s upcoming album, ‘Postcards from the Rearview Mirror’! Stay tuned for more details!

Dec 262019

Hey friends! I’m in Chicago, doing feature spots at two burlesque shows while I’m home for the holidays! Stop by!

Dec. 26th – Clara’s Holiday After- Party
The Den Theatre – 1331 N. Milwaukee Ave. Chicago, IL 60622
Show starts at 10:00pm! Doors at 9:45pm!

Dec. 27th – The Drifter
Green Door Tavern,
676-8 N Orleans St, Chicago, IL 60654
My slots are at 8 pm and 9:30 pm
Free entry – grab a drink!

Apr 232019
                                                                     (photo: Bicknick at Reykvavik Kabarette)

April 22 – OXFORD: Young Women’s Music Project: Masterclass
April 23 – BRISTOL: Bristol Institute of Modern Music Masterclass at Rough Trade Records
April 24 – LEEDS: Live Show: Wharf Chambers
April 25 – GUILDFORD: Live Show: Electric Theatre (7:30)
April 26 – GLASGOW  Club Cabaret (8-10)
April 26 – GlASGOW Riding Room (11:30 pm)